Tea Time Realization

So...today, I experienced my first true tea party. I was provided some 'tea', 'food' of my choice, and watched while I 'consumed' these items. For anyone who knows, or has ever known me, this is not me at all. I always said I could never bring myself to pretend to eat or drink foods in any ridiculous kind of ceremony, no matter what. I remember stating the following to a friend who'd shared she had spent much of her morning having a tea party with her daughter. "Tea party? Me? Never. I don't see the purpose or what it would benefit my daughter to involve myself in one. I don't know, I just don't see myself having fun or being convincing enough as I pretend I'm enjoying it."


I guess I was wrong. This morning, my children requested a tea party. I brought out the tea party set and encouraged them to play nicely together.


Iniabasi asked, "Mommy, you don't want to play with us?"


I attempted to give a reason I could not participate, but I couldn't look at those questioning eyes and simply tell him the truth: "I just don't want to play". So, I told him I would love to join them. In unison, they responded rather loudly, "Yay, Mommy!"


I was directed to my side of the 'table' by Iniabasi. Mayomikun presented me with a cup atop a saucer, along with a spoon. Abasianam 'poured' me tea, and Iniabasi took my food order and made a few suggestions. I could not very well ruin this moment and not give them the opportunity to serve me, as I have them so many times. They were just seeking an opportunity to imitate me and allow me to partake in their idea of how grown-ups behave. 


Simply watching them made me realize just how important my words and actions are. These little beings, so eager to learn, sponges, just itching to grown up, do what adults do, be like their parents. It made me smile but saddened me at the same time. Soon, these little people will be going off to high school, college, and taking over the world. Therefore, I, as a parent, need to be more mindful of my choices. I need to ensure my words are uplifting, so they can grow to be confident individuals. I need to help hone their skills, to encourage them in their God-given talents. Every fiber of their beings require me to assure they have a sense of hope and purpose.


However, at the same time, the sadness came from the realization that they would not forever be 5, 3, and 2. At some point in time, I will lose these tiny beings to a world that will attempt to influence them, change who they are, make them question the way they were raised, have them wondering if some of the things we've instilled in them truly have worth or meaning. I have a task before me, greater than any I had ever really considered, and I believe I am up to it. I just need to equip myself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially for the journey ahead.

A Lesson My Children Taught Me

Well, July 1st made it a year since I was laid off, a year I've been a stay-at-home mom. I've discovered new recipes, fun ways to pass time (on the whim), cheap art ideas, etc. In my daily interactions with my children, I've also learned how God must feel when it comes to us, His children.

For instance, four days ago, Iniabasi came into our room and asked, "Mommy, where is my bag?"

Me: "Which bag? The one on your bed?"

Iniabasi: "Yes"

Me: "Sorry, I threw it away, Buds. It's dangerous to have a plastic bag on your bed when you sleep. I didn't want any of you to get hurt."

He proceeded to whine and complain, saying, "Mommy, I need it. That's not fair."

After I tried to convince him how important it was for him to trust me, I gave him a hug, and he walked away. His head was down and I faintly heard him mutter, "I never get anything". 

This encounter led me to realize how much like him I often am. I ask God for things, and if I don't get them, I sulk and feel destitute, wondering if He really cares. I forget about the many times He's answered my prayers, performed miracles, provided for me/us, etc. So many times, I worry, complain, compare myself or situation to others, wallow in self pity, but the underlying truth is that no matter how bleak the circumstance may have seemed, all has been well. Many of the things I've thought I wanted, I've found would have led to misery, a life of unhappiness, or would have changed my life in ways that I would never want to imagine now. 

In essence, I'm learning that despite how I feel in any current situation, I embrace the "no"s, unanswered requests, struggles, and days of 'hopelessness', believing that God has the best future and intentions for me.