Oh, But I Do Work

Okay so I’ve been on both sides of the mommy spectrum, and I honestly can’t say which I totally prefer. There are good and bad aspects of each. Well, maybe not necessarily good and bad, depending on who you are, but there are definite pros and cons, in my opinion.

It amazes me how so many women, even fellow mothers, judge one another based on whether they work or stay at home. I’ll admit I’ve been one of those moms, so I’m certainly not throwing stones. As a working mother, I wondered what stay-at-home moms did. Being that I worked 8 or more hours a day, came home to make dinner, gave showers,  kept our bills paid, and cleaned the house on the weekends,  I wondered what stay-at-home moms did. While some of us were working and helping our husbands support our families, others were at home kicking their feet up, eating Bon-Bons and painting their toe nails. Yah, I know… a very biased way of thinking, right?

However, once I was laid off, I was not given the option to work or stay home; I was kinda just thrown into it head first. It’s then I realized being a stay-at-home mom is hard work. I couldn’t imagine being home all day and the house being a mess, so I was constantly cleaning the house, maintained my no-dishes-in-the-sink rule, ensured my family got three hearty meals a day, completely potty-trained my two-and-a-half –year-old in my first two weeks  at home (NO easy task), took two mile walks every morning to look good for my husband, and made sure I didn’t look frumpy when he got home from work.

After all that and more took its toll on me, I focused on the important things: spending time with my children, keeping dishes out of my sink, teaching my children the alphabet, numbers, and fun nursery rhymes. I now maintain my house to the best of my ability, being that as I clean each area, there’s a three-year-old with a mission to ensure I need to clean it again within an hour. I have a cleaning schedule.  I try to make at least one new meal a week, do some baking, incorporate more healthy foods into our diet, ensure our bills get paid on time, seek new ways to keep us from drowning in debt, etc. In essence, I am a teacher, a housekeeper, chef, a baker, a nutritionist, an accountant, and an innovator. So despite what others say, I DO work. I just get paid in hugs, kisses, and kind words. Often, my work goes unnoticed or unappreciated, but because I love my family, though I complain at times, I’d have it no other way.

However, not all of us were cut out to be stay-at-home moms. Just because I have now adjusted to it doesn’t mean I look down on working mothers. In fact, even a year into it, I was still kicking and screaming; I absolutely disliked being at home, until I had an opportunity to be part of my children’s academic progress, hear them say how much they loved me randomly on a daily basis and gave me the best hugs ever for making their favorite breakfast/lunch, etc.  Working in an office?  Been there, done that, and I enjoyed it. The only thing I missed and still do is a lot of my children’s firsts which I had to hear about second-hand. While assisting other people’s children and families, my children were being cared for by someone else, but I was okay with it…for a little while. We needed the money, so I was doing what I had to do at that time. In one way or the other, as long as you’re not neglecting your children or being lazy, be proud of being a mom in whatever capacity you are able. We all work.