The last few days have been a bit rough. After a sobering
dinner with one of our good friends on Saturday, my husband and I have been
going back and forth about the future. Considering the experience of our friend,
whose father died unexpectedly in December, our conversations have been more on
the serious side.
We’ve been forced to consider our mortality, especially as parents.
My husband has had more difficulty with this than me. His struggle lies in the
fact that he does not want to consider our lives with any one of us no longer
around. Although we’re both well-aware that tomorrow is not promised to any of
us, the fact that any number of things could keep us from growing old together
or even raising our children ourselves is quite unsettling. Actually, it’s more
morbid and depressing than anything really.
However, as parents, we have to do what we need to in order
to ensure our children’s futures. For almost a week now, we’ve had two sets of
our living wills, documents designating our durable powers of attorney, etc
sitting on the kitchen counter. We pass by the pile. We talk about the pile. We
glare at the pile, but the pile remains still…untouched.
How can the life we’ve built together come down to a stack
of papers? This stack of papers will help strangers determine who would have
our children if something happened to either of us. I mean almost ten years
into our marriage, seven years of parenthood, big dreams, and plenty to live
for, we’re forced to start thinking of the worst case scenario. We now have to
determine who will take care of our children if we don’t make it to see them
live until they’re adults. Who takes joy in this? Not me, that’s for sure, but it’s
got to be done.
I have seen and heard of children in foster care because
both parents passed unexpectedly. Because their parents had no will in place
and no designated individual or couple to raise them in their stead, the state
was the authority left to determine that. It’s sad to think that the hard work
parents have put into instilling a sense of right and wrong could be uprooted
by someone who has no idea of who their parents were and no sense of the values
their parents held dear and wanted to pass along to their children.
We are dust. Our lives are like a vapor. Nothing is
guaranteed, not even tomorrow. We have faith. We trust God, because that’s all
we can do. We were given wisdom , and it is key in making decisions. It is important we consider the
future but not become consumed by or anxious about it. We can make plans and
set things in place, for the love of our children. By God’s grace and mercy, we’ll
be there to welcome our grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but the
groundwork ought to be laid.
So let me leave you with this question: Who would you trust
your children with if it came down to it?
No comments:
Post a Comment