Saturday, October 18, 2014

Time to Let Go of the Chaos

Over the last ten months, in an effort to get ourselves to a place of financial fitness, our family of five has been living with a close friend. Initially, it was very embarrassing to me. I didn’t want to tell anyone. I didn’t want anyone knowing much about it, because that’s an automatic judgment on us, especially my husband. I just didn’t want to explain it.

After a while, I realized we are doing what is best for our family, whether or not others understand it. It is just something that we need to do. Initially, it was supposed to be a six-month deal, but it was extended, in order for additional progress to be made.

The funny thing about it is that I’m learning so much about myself and being humbled quite a bit through this experience. I’m realizing I’m a bigger nag than I thought I was. I realize that almost any and everything annoys me. I realize how difficult of a person I am to live with, because I want everything just so. However, the space that my husband and I occupy is the most disorganized, disheveled looking room  of the five.

Every time I enter it, as dark as I am, I blush because I’m so embarrassed of the chaos it represents. My excuse for the longest time has been, ‘It’s so much smaller than our rooms in the past; I can’t work with it. There’s not enough space for all our stuff.” There has never been a time in the past that that has been an issue for me though, so it’s had me thinking. As individuals, we know someone out there whose life is chaotic, whose life is full of one issue after another, even though to everyone else who doesn’t know them quite so well, they are living the dream. One day, they’re “having a hard time”. Tomorrow, life’s got them by the balls. The next, they’re wondering why bad things always seem to happen to them. Nothing ever seems to get better; the clutter in their lives just increases. Their lives are in constant chaos, which just seems to increase.

The interesting thing is many people are fooled by the façade, just like in our situation. The kitchen is pretty clean, the living room is kept up as much as possible with three growing children, the restroom we use is regularly maintained, but our bedroom is another story. All we have to do is close the door. As long as the door is closed, everything is okay.

One step inside and I’m stressed just looking at it. How does an individual like me who is easily bothered by small, random things not in a state of urgency to get it all put in place? Why have I not said, ‘Look, I’ve had enough; I can work with what I’ve got”? I’ll be honest…I get to that place every week, but something else tends to be more important, to which I direct my attention. My reasoning is that it’ll take more time than I have to dedicate to it.

And that’s the problem with many of us. We don’t get fed up with the filth, clutter, chaos in our lives to have an honest conversation with ourselves, seek an organizer, someone we can trust, or who seemingly has it together. We just look at how ugly the situation has gotten and either give up or figure, ‘Hey, it’s my issue, my filth…I created it, and I’ll just deal with it.’

There’s often so much stuff on our plates, in our lives, but if we just take the time to analyze the stains in our carpet and find the perfect carpet cleaner for it, pick up one dirty sock at a time and put it in the hamper, or finally fold the clothes on the dresser and actually put them inside, things will start to look up. Sometimes, the dirty socks are bad influences we’re surrounded by but consider harmless. Other times, the stains are the issues we’ve hidden for so long they seem part and parcel of us. We just push the dresser and hamper over them, because as long as we and others don’t see them, we can pretend they don’t exist. The clean clothes all over the place may be good friends/relationships/influences we’ve tossed aside because they aren’t the coolest, or they keep us in check.


The weekend is here, so I for one will make it one of my top priorities to clean up the clutter I go to bed in and wake up to every morning. We can’t just be about the talk; it’s important to walk the walk. It’s time we get rid of the chaos, the dirt, and the mold, in whatever form they may be, in our lives. 

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