I Guess I'm Like Rapunzel's Mom?

Being that my first two children were boys, I was over the moon when our third ultrasound indicated we would be having a girl. We went back and forth about names. Left to my husband, she was to be Naomi Joelle. I have always liked Nicolette, but he turned his nose up to it. So, the battle went on for months, until we agreed we should stick to Hebrew names as we had with our sons; hence, we agreed on Eliana Joelle.

Eliana = my God has answered

Joelle = Jehovah is God

I figured we were destined to be close, regardless of other people’s experiences with their daughters. We’d get pedicures, watch movies, and go shopping together. I had my mind in the clouds about all the great benefits having a girl would reap. Granted, that dream did in fact become reality, but with a hint of sass and attitude I did not anticipate.

Many times, I find myself getting heated over this neck-snapping, eye-rolling, akimbo-stanced female I don’t even recognize. I know in no way, shape, or form did I ever cop an attitude like she does when I was a child. Being the offspring of parents straight from Nigeria, I would have been slapped back to Africa having such gall. She reminds me of my youngest sister, who tried and tried our parents growing up. Miss “why”, “how come,” “I don’t want to”, “I don’t like him/her”…that was my little sister, and I remember all the spankings she got growing up. Always putting her foot in her mouth and not scared of a single person. With that in mind, if I hadn’t pushed that baby out of my body myself, I would have thought somehow, someway, she was actually my sister’s.

One day, she got in trouble, and after mean-mugging for a few minutes, she came up to me, hands on hip, and very matter-of-factly stated, “You shouldn’t pull our ears when we’re in trouble. You’re gonna make them break, and good mommies don’t do that. They just talk to their kids, like I talk to my baby when she doesn’t listen.” Then, she just walked away and went to play with her brothers.

On a few occasions, I see that she is a bit like me, and it’s actually embarrassing. She is quick-witted and has a comeback for almost any opposition posed. She’s not afraid to share her thoughts on a matter, if an opportunity is presented (and sometimes even when it’s not). 

There was a day one of her brothers had been told not to do something, so he wouldn’t get hurt in the process. Needless to say, he didn’t listen and continued anyway, until he got hurt. I continued cooking, unmoved. She ran over and started talking to him. I heard, “You shoulda have listened to Mommy. Now you’re over here crying. Are you happy? She told you to stop, and you didn’t listen. Nobody wants to hear you cry, so just stop it,” she hissed, and walked back to the kitchen where I was. Then she said, “I’ve already told him to stop crying. You can go spank him if you want.” I whipped my neck around but had no words.

The other day, I had my baby niece, and she was giggling as my daughter played with her. My brother walked into the living room and tried to join in on the fun. No one knew what happened, but our niece just started crying and screaming out of the blue. My daughter then stated, “She’s crying because you’re black. You look like a black monster, so she’s scared.” I was taken aback by that and scolded her for the rude comment. A few minutes after my brother left the room, our niece continued playing and giggling with her cousin. Then, unsolicited, my daughter stated, “See, Mommy…I told you” and continued playing with her cousin.

I’m not sure where all this attitude comes from, but I know some of it comes from me. I just was not expecting that yesterday, when I told her and her brothers that due to their behaviors, we would most likely not be going on a specific outing today. As my husband and I prepared to say their nighttime prayers with them, she blurted out, “Well, you’re a bad mommy. Good mommies don’t do that. They take their children, even if they don’t listen. You’re bad, just like Rapunzel’s mom. All princess’s moms are mean and bad, and I’m a princess, so you’re bad!”

I shot her a look that said, “You just tried it and are SO lucky I’m tired right now,” which my husband noticed, so he scolded her and informed her of how rude and disrespectful her comment was. She apologized to me, sat next to me, smiled, gave me a raggedy side hug and asked, “So can we go tomorrow?”