Fallen

Lately, I’ve seen or heard stories of one woman after another caught up somehow in a web of deceit or some kind of scandal. My first instinct is to wonder why she made the decision she did by getting involved with the man who ruined her life. I become upset, wondering “how didn’t she see that coming?” I wonder how she could have been so foolish. How could she allow him to do that to her? How, or why, did she ignore the warning signs?

Then, I take a good look at myself. I’ve been that woman. A woman in love sees nothing but the good she has witnessed firsthand from the object of her affection. His flaws make him unique; “we all have them,” she convinces herself. The way he raises his voice at her is only due to how passionate he is because he cares so much for her, at least that is what she has convinced herself. “All men have wandering eyes, but at the end of the day, I’M the one he’s with”, she tells her girlfriends who express their concerns. “You don’t know him like I know him.” “You don’t see the way he is with me when no one else is around. He’s so kind, gentle, and loving…he really is.”

A man who cheats is not a man made for the long haul, at least that’s what I’ve always believed. Do we fall or make mistakes? Yes. Can we be forgiven? Yes. However, I wonder…how many times is a woman supposed to accept the “I’m sorry” from a man whose love is obviously not for her alone? Whose every move only proves that love no longer exists, or was never there?

How about the woman who falls head over heels for a man so passionate that even in anger, that passion is often released and seldom controlled or contained? What of the woman who is so desperately in love with the idea of love that she believes she can change him? Time after time, his anger or rage gets the best of him, but she excuses it as passion or finds a reason to blame herself for his reaction?

Do these women lack self-worth? Did these women not have a father figure to guide them or give them a proper example of what a good man looks like? The answers aren’t always clear-cut, but I do know that the heart wants what the heart wants. So what do we, the by-standers, the onlookers, do to help these women, someone’s daughter or sister? Do we say our peace? Do we try to beat it into them that these men are no good for them?

Some are publicly humiliated. Some women don’t make it out alive. How do we love them good, show them the light before all seems lost?

I sunk low, thought I’d missed out on love when it was all said and done, but time proved otherwise. If you care for her, whomever she is to you, be there. Love her. If she’s in harm’s way, snatch her from the fire. Don’t let it all play out, because she just may not make it.