I'm Not Scared

Okay, so this week, I faced two discomforts of mine head on. I wouldn’t call them fears because I think they were really just due to concerns and others’ comments.

So, anyone who knows me and knows me well is well aware of my great dislike for animals. I don’t enjoy zoos or like any type of pet. I cannot eat in the same room with an animal of any kind. If I am aware that a person owns one, I have difficulty eating in their home. The thought that an animal’s lingering hair could await me in the bite of my burger or that I may go home with animal hair on me just freaks me out. I’m not talking, “Oh, with a good shower, I’m good” or “I’ll just sit there and leave after a little bit”. I really truly try not to go anywhere with pets.

My husband has seen me leap over a friend’s furniture, leap on top of someone’s truck in a parking lot, topple over a table, in order to get away from dogs. Having been chased by dogs that supposedly don’t chase people unless they are apprehended, I don’t trust any dogs, not even Chihuahuas. When I’m around, they have one goal in mind, and that is to attack.

Let’s not start with felines. The looks cats give freak me out. I just know they are out to get me, despite how much their owners try to convince me that “he/she’s scared around people”. For some reason, when I come around, these scaredy cats are never scared around me…go figure, right?

I’ll be truthful. I have had a meal in a particular home where I knew there was a pet lurking. However, the dog, as big as he was, preferred a corner and did not roam freely, due to his age. I, unbeknownst to his owners, watched as they washed their hands before preparing meals. I ensured I did not sit by his resting area, and I definitely did not eat within sight of the friendly canine. Something about it all gives me the heebie jeebies.

This week, however, in order to put me at ease as a visitor, a couple put their dog away and ended up getting into some high dosage pills. To see the panic in owners’ eyes, the lengths they were willing to go in order to ensure the dog was okay puzzled me. It’s exactly how I reacted the day I accidentally gave my son too much medicine, measuring in the wrong unit. To see how they loved on that dog they had rescued from the pound, possibly days from euthanization, really got to me. Apparently, that dog was like family to them. I don’t get it, and I never will. The thing is as much as I dislike animals, I felt horrible. If not for my dislike for pets, that dog could have died, and that would have crushed its owners.

When the dog returned, I didn’t recoil, neither did I slide right over toward my husband. I think my daughter, who is very much afraid of dogs noticed. She loosened up quite a bit and even pet the dog. She was curious about the state of the dog’s health. I didn’t realize how much my reaction to dogs had negatively affected her. Although I did not and have no intention to pet a dog or any other animal, I realized I could potentially co-exist with a calm pet. Victory #1.

Well, that occurred in Mexico. Anyone who I have spoken to in the last week or two knows how much I fought my husband on the issue of going to Mexico. I was dead set on staying behind so that I could be safe and not be pulled over or disturbed by members of the cartel. I was sure that Mexico = uncertainty and danger. Why would I go there and endanger myself and my family? All the water is tainted and unsafe to drink. Anyone in their right mind had no reason going there, especially since so many Mexican citizens are risking their lives and going through the desert to get to the United States. It must be pretty bad there, or at least that’s what I thought until I went there myself.

Rocky Point…it was beautiful, so serene. Its tranquility took my breath away.  I have never slept better or felt as rested as when I was there. Although there wasn’t much to do, other than gaze at the ocean and watch it do its thing, I enjoyed every moment. How could a place that people consider so dangerous contain such a peaceful, hidden sanctuary? Oh, I’d so go back…Victory#2

These two personal victories have made me realize that there are other issues I have not fully faced, and I am determined to challenge myself in order to stretch myself. There’s always room to grow, be better, learn new things. None of us is here on Earth as a finished product. Dig deep…what is something you find challenging, that you’re afraid of, or simply have not been able to overcome?  Look it straight in the face and work your way towards a victory. Even the smallest step makes a difference. Every step in the right direction is a step toward success.