No Man Is an Island

It’s so interesting how we human beings get so involved with ourselves and what’s going on in our daily lives that we lose sight of those around us. We have close friends, some family, and co-workers we hear from, see, or run into on a fairly consistent basis, yet, we tend to have surface conversations. A “hey, how are you?” “What’s up?” Or, “Hope things are going well” are met with such responses as “good”,  “not much”, or  “yes”. Many of us are much too busy to take the time to probe further, to ensure things truly are okay with those around us.

We walk around each day, passing by individuals with open wounds that they alone can feel and see. As we approach, they cover them up with smiles that serve as bandages, or they look the other way. In our haste and/or absorption with our own worries we wave, smile back, or sometimes don’t even notice or acknowledge them.

I’ve been guilty of the above. I have errands to run, projects I need to complete, and even worries I ponder over continuously. I’ve been that person who sees someone who is probably having a bad day and just avoids his or her eyes; after all, what can I really do? Nothing, right?

Well, a few weeks ago, I took a second. I smiled at a lady smoking next to a store I was going into, and she smiled back. I said, “Have a nice day,” and she muttered, “Sure, I guess.” I was so tempted to move along, but I lingered a few minutes, only to find out one of her parents had passed, the other was sick, and she had just lost her job. She was having not just a bad day but a horrible month. I did my best to encourage her. After I left, I wondered if I’d made a difference at all.

I recently met with a friend I’ve known for over five years.  I thought that, as usual, we were just going to have lunch and have some light conversation and talk about meeting up again before the end of the year. From the moment I sat down, I noticed a difference in my friend. I thought it was a deep sadness, and it scared me a bit. We’d sat across from one another several times. How could I have missed it? We’d had conversations in person and texted back and forth a lot. This time, unlike most others, our conversation was a lot less surface-like, which was nice, but I felt that we weren’t addressing something.

After we parted, I was unable to rest, knowing something was off. A few days later, I finally got the courage to share my concern with my friend, only to be told about the loneliness being felt. I was saddened to think that someone I know and call a friend could possibly feel alone. 

In a world full of millions of human bodies, one would think that everyone has at least someone they can talk to or confide in, but I’m finding that’s not the case. There are many people out there who would appreciate a non-rhetorical, sincere, “How are you?” Take a second or even a minute to wait for their response. Make someone genuinely feel cared for. We all have our own agendas and lives to live, but we were not put on Earth to solely serve our own purposes. No man or woman is an island. We need each other.