You Deserve a Moment

My name is Esther, and a few years ago, I lost myself. I lost myself to my family. I put aside the things I dreamt of and always wanted to be and do to dive into my role as a mother and wife. Every waking moment was about my children and husband. I felt bad if I did anything I was interested in or enjoyed. I felt I could be doing something for the family, whether it was cleaning the house, putting school lunches together, or fussing over what everyone would like for dinner. I thought my life had to completely evolve around my family since I was a stay-at-home mom/housewife. It was like I was trying to prove that I was indeed doing something, like trying hard to earn my keep.

As time goes on, I’m realizing life doesn’t have to be so difficult. My role as a mother and a wife is great and all, but I need to appreciate and embrace who I am as an individual.

I believe that as mothers, many of us lose ourselves in our role. We fully immerse ourselves in motherhood. Most of our conversation with our spouses and friends are about our children: what they’re doing or saying, etc. We share the  things we did/do with our children, share their pictures, etc. From my perspective, that gets old fast, and people get tired of hearing about and seeing pictures of your children, unless they’re family.

I believe moms should step outside the box of motherhood for moments during each day. If it’s getting up early to enjoy a good book with soft music in the background over a cup of coffee or tea and Biscotti in a spare room or den, or staying up about an hour or two after the children go to bed to try a new craft or experiment with DIYing: candles, body butter, body scrubs, etc, it’s all good. Enjoy the silence. Enjoy your time.

Turn off the TV, light some candles, put your hair up, grab a towel, fill your tub with lots of bubbles, slip in, and reflect. You’re a mom, and you deserve a break. You deserve some time to yourself.

If you’re willing, plan at least one day a month to spend with a friend, different friends, or a group of friends, and agree not to talk about the children as individuals. Make it all about yourselves. Talk about your hopes, your dreams, things you’re learning about yourself (even if because of your children). We are women, individuals first, and we shouldn’t feel guilty to take a moment, or even a few, to enjoy the people individuals we are.