Sacrifice Is Love

A few months ago, I was stressed out and just done. I had a blog entitled ‘The Married Single Mom’ in the works. I was so tired of holding down the fort: playing the accountant, chauffeur, culinary artist, maid, etc. I think I’d gotten in my feelings and had a pity party with myself as the sole attendee. I was not in a good place. I viewed my husband as unsupportive, clueless to my situation, and emotionally distant. I didn’t believe he cared that I had dreams I was striving for despite being home with and raising our children.

The funny thing is that all changed. As one who doesn’t fare well holding a grudge, or even my tongue, my husband got to know how I felt pretty quickly. Oooohhhh…when I say I didn’t hold anything back, I mean I didn’t hold ANYTHING back. I was standing akimbo, rolling my neck, raising my voice, and occasionally waving my fingers from side to side in front of my face to get my points across.

With all my accusations, my husband could no longer take it and walked away, making me livid. I knew he was just getting away from the situation, in order not to say something he wouldn’t be able to take back, but when I say I went in on him, boy did I ever. I just wanted a reaction…something, anything, so I followed him, continuing to speak loudly to ensure I was being heard. He eventually responded in kind, as I had pushed him beyond his limits, despite his attempt to walk away. Well, this led to a war of words.

I’d said my part, and he’d said his. The only problem is that neither of us had listened to the other, or so I thought.

This weekend really blew my mind. I’m not one to gush, but my husband really impressed me. He surprised me with two days off of work, one in which I was instructed not to lift a finger. He became the transporter, entertainer, cook, etc. It felt amazing to have a whole day off, and I had no clue what to do with the time. Unfortunately, it coincided with me being sick, so I spent quite a bit of time in bed and enjoying the day with my family. Today, he surprised me with an outing and lunch. It took me back to our days of engagement. We laughed, joked, and enjoyed one another’s company. We took it all back to the beginning of us. It had been a while, and it was clear we needed that. At the end of the day, all I could think of was how appreciative I was of him.

He works hard, which keeps him away from us for ten hours a day five days a week, AND he goes to school four days a week, for a total of 22 – 30 hours a week. He’s the “fun” parent and doesn’t relinquish his role, despite how busy he gets. In my pity party, I failed to realize how much he does and sacrifices for us. 

Marriage and parenthood are two-way streets. They both require giving and receiving. He gives a little; I give a little. Sometimes the sacrifices don't seem fair or equal, but they are often necessary in our moving forward as a family. As long as we're united, the sacrifice is just another way we show one another our love.