A very dear friend and I got a chance to get together today
and had some interesting conversation. We spoke about everything from how
tolerance has been redefined around the world to how bullying is such a big
issue in schools, on social media, and on television. We spoke for about three
hours straight, and there were so many issues we touched upon. The more we
spoke, the more sad I felt.
Our children will never understand how paddling in schools
helped curb certain behaviors that children today feel they are entitled to,
because they have freedoms they abuse. Today, children talk back to their
parents, ridicule their teachers, and poke fun at the elderly. This is not to
say that those behaviors were non-existent when I was growing up; they just
were not tolerated. What is now considered “corporal punishment” or “organized
fear” was actually not seen as such by most of us. You did wrong, and you
suffered the consequence. Discipline was served as a result of negative
behavior. Action leads to reaction, which although from Newton’s third law of
motion, is still very true. In a world where children are taught to freely express
themselves, no filter or consideration of another, we have false accusations
against adults, especially teachers, ruining their lives...and then there's bullying.
Oh bullying, the issue which social media has been a big
instrument in perpetuating. No longer are notes placed in one’s locker calling
you all sorts of names, things thrown at your head from behind in class because
a popular group of children don’t like you, or your heritage attacked, as if
there’s something you can do about it. Now, the haunting follows children home.
Being that they do most of their reading and homework online, there are ways to
hack computers, etc and make others’ lives a living nightmare. It’s becoming
such an issue that even though we were taught that “sticks and stones may break
(our) bones but words will never hurt (us),” we are finding out that either
parents aren’t teaching children this mantra, or children are simply
overwhelmed and incapable of handling it all.
I’m a “MAN UP” mama. I’ve been called all kinds of names in
my lifetime. I’ve been spit at by racist teenagers when I was minding my own
business and walking to elementary school, I’ve had to defend myself countless
times against people who “come for me”. I guess in a way, I’ve become immune,
to a certain extent, when it comes to what others say. I know my worth and
realize that most times, people who have nothing nice to say about me have
insecurities eating at them.
Unfortunately, we’ve sold children the lie that life is
fair. Life is NOT fair. You and Little Richie across the street will NEVER have
the same life. You may be able to bleach your skin, but you’ll never pass as
white. The beautiful tight curls they call knots are what make you who you are.
Own who you are, your truth, and realize how awesome you are. Easier said than
done, right? Maybe, but we’ve got to help these children. The words and actions
of others are leading children to take their lives,
and blaming it on bullies is doing us little or no good. Strength from within
is where it starts. Confidence is important, and it starts at home.
We used to call the faint of heart sissies in my day,
because if they just searched within themselves, they would realize that the
things that they were being bullied about were the things that made them
unique. Past mistakes were just those, past mistakes. We had to encourage one
another to dust ourselves off and start over. Bullies should not be given
power. They bully because they often lack self-worth, and what better way to
get an ego boost but to pick on someone that’s everything you either wish you
could be or who has what you wish you had? Even in cases where jealousy is not
a factor, as the daughter of a quick-witted dad, when I was younger, by the
time a bully tried me with his or her useless words, I had a few to fire back
at him or her, which ensured they were aware I was confident, smart, and not
one to mess with. I realized self-confidence was a deterrent to bullies, and I
played mine up whenever necessary. Nowadays, children take the ignorant words
of fools to heart and allow it to define them, and that’s not how it should be.
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