And Who Made Me God? A Public Apology

When we were younger, we had so many ideas about who we were and who we were going to be. We dreamt big, and in many cases, there was no one who could tell us otherwise. Whether those plans or dreams became reality is relative. Some manifested a bit different than we had anticipated, but we can’t really complain, because after all, “Ehn…close enough”.

Then, there were those things we projected on others. You know, the way we make comments about others and don’t really take into consideration the fact that they actually believe in that one thing with a faith that could move mountains. Sometimes we laughed, or even scoffed, when some told us their plans. Who we were to think we knew better still amazes me...I mean, really…my dream is mine; yours is yours, right?

Well, today, here’s to my public confession, almost 11 years too late. So, in my single, young days, I belonged to an amazing young adult group called Fusion. We were a mesh of cultures and interesting backgrounds. We were passionate, real, and had a great time together. At that point in time, the world was our canvas to draw on it whatever we wanted. Our leaders, an amazing couple, encouraged us to reach for the stars and never give up. We were pumped; we were ready to take on the world. No one could hold us back…well, except for one another, I guess.

And that is where I stepped in. As one of the older members of Fusion, I was the first to be engaged (if I recall correctly). I was excited and wanted everyone to be part of my big day. Well, almost everyone… There was a young lady who was amazing, always had a smile on her face and lit up every room into which she walked. She had shared about her background with family members who were deaf and how being hearing didn’t make her feel any better but helped her appreciate the gift of hearing the more. She was one bubbly young woman who knew how to get anyone from a funk to laughing uncontrollably. She had something special about her, and I knew she was going to make some man very proud one day.

Indirectly, I watched and waited to see who would approach her as a potential suitor, after all, she was nothing short of a great catch. Then he came along. He had been in the youth group I had been a leader in for a short while. He was tall, goofy, and I could hardly take him serious, but he was pretty cool.

Now, when he stepped to my girl though, I took on a role no one put on me. In fact, to show how much I didn’t think this budding relationship would work, when she was invited to our wedding, she was not given a plus one, even though I knew they were getting serious. She requested an additional invite, so that he could join us to celebrate our day, but I was certain what they had was a passing thing, and with our tight budget and ridiculously growing list, I wasn’t budging.

Interestingly, she helped with our wedding prep, giving ideas and the like, because of who she is. She never asked again, and I never brought it up. Apparently, I was a relationship guru and she would soon realize I was right. In the long run, she made the decision not attend our wedding, out of respect for her boyfriend, and to prove how serious they really were, I think (I’ve never asked).

This young woman never held a grudge or said a single negative word to me. She and that young man did eventually get married shortly after us and are happy with two children now. As I stalk her Facebook page from time-to-time, I laugh at myself and think, “Man, if she had listened to my foolishness, she would have missed out on the love of her life. Isn’t it awesome that I’m not God?”

Interestingly enough, shortly before my husband and I got married, I received word that someone I truly respected and had taken the time to introduce my fiancé to privately and who had expressed excitement and joy had told someone else later that it was unfortunate that we probably wouldn’t make it to year five.  That was like a dagger to my heart, but it simply goes to show that we aren’t the best judges of what our future holds, much less that of others.

For that reason and others, I’ll admit that never an apology have I uttered to that young woman, and for that I am embarrassed, which is why I believe she deserves a public apology. Mrs. Smith, you are an amazing woman. I’m happy to see that you are doing well and still very much happy and in love with the young man I didn’t take a moment to get to know, so I could catch a glimpse of the wonder you found in him. Mr. Smith, I apologize for never giving you a chance and for misjudging what you two had/have. I wish you both many more fruitful and joyous years in Christ, whose opinion alone matters anyway.