Quit Trying to Play Catch Up; Leave the Joneses Alone!

I remember our first five years of marriage. My husband and I, we hustled hard. I was fresh out of college and wasn’t making much but drove over 80 miles a day across town to get to the office where I worked.  My husband always had this dream of being married, owning a home with a huge loft, and having children run up and down the stairs. I, however, having lived in big houses most of my life, thought we should take some time and figure things out. Being cautious, I figured we should determine what we both liked before making any major decisions.

Despite all my concerns and objections though, we went ahead with the house purchase, and I learned to love it. The location…not so much… While we lived there, I got in over my head. I threw caution to the wind.  I wanted us to get newer vehicles once I found out we were having our first child. I wanted us to make everything perfect for our baby and our growing family, so we took out a second mortgage and used it to get our backyard done, entire upstairs painted, and other upgrades.  After all, these would help make the house more marketable in the future, so it was a win-win.

We saw how other parents did all they could to ensure they had all they needed for their children. Where we came up short, we used our credit card. This child deserved the best, and we didn’t want him to do without. Most new parents had all the latest gadgets and gizmos, and we would, too.

Well, all those around us were the Joneses, and we were living by their standards. We paid off our cars within a year of purchasing each, but everything else just didn’t work out the same. I mean, we were doing just fine…you know, keeping our heads above water…that is, until I got laid off.

You know what they say: when it rains, it pours. Well, our glass house took a hit, and like Humpty Dumpty, we and our wall came falling down. We learned the hard way that the Joneses may or may not be able to maintain their lifestyle. We learned that there are various kinds of Joneses: those who fake the funk but are hardly making it, yet have the newest everything; those who have everything but aren’t happy, and the ones who have nothing yet have everything.

It’s several years later, and we’re still trying to recover from  the mess we made. We only have one life to live, and if we live it trying to catch up with others and what they have, we aren’t really living. We don’t know the misery they live in in order to maintain their lifestyles. We can only do what we can. Enjoy the moments you have in life, because you can’t get them back. Be faithful in the little, or much, that you have. That little beater car may not be much to the masses, but it gets you from A to B, doesn’t it? I know my spaceship van does.

There’s a proverb our dad always shared when he was basically throwing his hands up after having offered us advice.

When the tortoise is going on a senseless journey and he is asked when he will be back, he says, “Not until I have been disgraced…not until I have been disgraced.”

A word is enough for the wise. Quit trying to play catch up! Leave the Joneses alone and get on with your life!