Just a Mom: My Difficult Transition from Working Mom to SAHM

As a working mother, I always felt fulfilled, to a great extent. Although the time I spent working with other people's children often weighed on me, I enjoyed attempting to teach the young people how to cope with various issues they were facing or with which they were forced to live. I felt like I was benefiting the world, investing in each child, on a small scale, each day. 


On the home front, I figured that as long as my husband and I worked hard, our family would be content. I'd wake my children, pray with them, give them showers, make sure they had breakfast, and head off to work. I'd come home, give hugs and kisses, make dinner, clean up, take a walk with the family, give showers, pray with the children, and say our good nights. This was our typical schedule, Monday - Friday (during the school year) and Tuesday - Saturday (during the summer). I'd come to terms with living life this way, assuring myself that we were doing the best for our children with all we had. I didn't see how we could survive financially any other way, being that even with both of us working, we were barely making end's meet. 


The day I learned I would be laid off, it felt like my world was crashing down all around me. I couldn't understand how we would make it as a family. I wondered what miracle God had in store for us, but with each passing day, I worried. I was anxious. I wondered how long it would be before I'd find a job that would enable us to move past simply living paycheck-to-paycheck as we had for the previous two or three years. July 1, 2011 was officially the first day of my unsolicited vacation. For many months, I applied for jobs, went on various interviews, went to job fairs, met with career advisers, but it all seemed to be in vain. 


Being a woman who thrives on structure: meal plans, strict daily regimens, etc., I immediately came up with a schedule for each day. I felt like a drill sergeant. I got bored. The children got bored. I hated my life, feeling that I was not doing enough. After all, now, I was just a mom.