Searching for Something More

Fast forward to September 2011, I decided that it was nice and all being at home, but something had to give. Two months of walking a mile with the children every morning, chasing them around to give showers, and coming up with new ways to get them to eat fruits and vegetables, and I'd had enough of this "fun" for a lifetime. The highlight of each day was hearing, "Mommy, I pooped in the 'oilet, not the carpet" or "Mmm...this is yummy" during a meal.


Enough was finally enough, so I went to a job fair a friend had suggested. There, I met a gentleman who was quite intriguing. He gave me a brief overview on Medicare and what I would potentially be doing. I saw it as an opportunity to 'do some good, help the elderly'. I would be able to learn more about the world of Medicare, educate the often duped pre-65 age group and older, and in some way begin to feel useful again.


I studied long and hard for my health and life insurance exam, but with my responsibilities and feelings of  inadequacy to perform effectively enough to be successful, I failed the first time by two points. The second time, I passed and was very excited to pursue my new career as a Medicare educator/insurance agent. I was   looking forward to assisting those who were often taken advantage of and seeing to it that they received the best service possible, in the form of a thorough education.


I enjoyed learning, meeting new people, interacting with adults again, but guilt began to set in each time I headed out for a day of training, to meet with a client, or to participate in anything work-related. Every time I  put on my work clothes and prepared to leave, my children would ask where I was going and beg me not to go. Simultaneously, the boys would say, "Where are going? Work?" "But Mommy, you don't work!"


Needless to say, I wasn't able to be as successful as I felt I could be, because I wanted to maintain my schedule of activities with my children and was only available to meet with clients two or three times a week. I spent nap time calling clients, since that was the only time available to do so. However, that began to wear on me, as other successful individuals in the business devoted as much as six hours a day to seeking out and meeting with clients, while I only had two hours or less a day to do so.


With a very low success rate, spending more time educating than actually selling, I knew my time as an agent was coming to an end, so I decided to bow out, before I could be let go. Once again, in searching for something more, I felt like a failure.