On the Real Though...

Nowadays, I’m not sure if I’ve become more of a prude or if growing up Nigerian and Christian, we just weren’t exposed to much in our family. There were just certain things we didn’t talk about with our parents, or anyone else for that matter. Even when we were curious, we kept them to ourselves. However, with each passing day, I realize that my husband and I are way too open, our children feel too comfortable around us, or we just let them feel too free to speak and share.

My children say things that would typically gross me out when adults say them or make me uncomfortable. However, never have I responded, “Ummm…TMI” or rolled my eyes. They have made comments that are too mature for their ages or those that are just plain from left field. One of my sons is the king of awkward conversation. He says random things, often out-of-the-blue that often make me scratch my head or blush on the inside.

The other day, I requested that he quit touching himself. He then decided to school me. He said that a boy “HAS to touch it when it gets bigger”. He continued on to share that “it gets bigger at night, so I have to touch it”. Needless to say, I remained speechless and casually changed the subject.

They make random comments. They seemingly have no filter and share way too much information with us and others, such as “(so-and-so) doesn’t workout, that’s why she’s fat” to “I thought (so-and-so) was a woman; she doesn’t even have any hair” to “so-and-so doesn’t even talk right; I thought he was a grown-up”.

They stop in the middle of a great conversation at dinner and say things like, “Mommy, hold on, okay? I’ve gotta go poop.” Then return and say things like, “Wow, that was a lot a lot of poop in my booty.”

As if that’s not enough, my daughter has her own random, often inappropriate topics of interest. She wonders out loud when her nipples will be big enough, so she can wear a “brauck”. Every few days, she checks the mirror to see how much she is maturing. With her birthday money this year, she insisted on purchasing two “braucks”, being that her “nipples will soon be big and big and big”.

She constantly has a comment to share or educate us on about the vagina, penis, or breast. What do we do? We decided to be modern rather than traditional, so we went with the actual body parts rather than “garage/lips”, “limousine/pipe”, “headlights/balloons/bean bags”, etc. Unfortunately, around others, my family in particular, they get interesting looks, and we get that questioning look, as if they are using vulgar words. Sigh…I wonder if we’re perpetuating attitudes that make our children a little too comfortable speaking about their sexuality or expressing their thoughts with little or no inhibition.

This parenting thing is a trip. It’s definitely no walk in the park. It’s a great responsibility. For me, it’s been seven years, but I’m still learning and growing. I’m yet to meet a true expert on parenthood. Our experiences are often so different, and our children are truly unique. How we raise them reflects on we as individuals, and that’s errr…a pretty big deal. 

So, on the real though...who finds parenthood a breeze? Certainly not I!