So, before you throw stones at me, please hear me out. Long
before motherhood, I judged some moms I saw and read about, and boy did I judge
them! After all, how could a loving mother allow her baby to “cry it out” at
night? She should take the baby in her arms, sit in a rocking chair, and just
gaze at the baby, enjoying every beautiful moment, taking it in. How could a
mom be so hard on one particular child out of her many, regardless of how he or
she behaved? That child would surely be scarred for life.
Well, I’m a mom of three amazing, beautiful children, but
I’ll tell you, from Baby #1 to #3, we practiced the cry it out method. We were
two working parents who required as much sleep as we could get, in order to be
able to function as employees, parents, and just mere human beings. By week 5,
our first child was sleeping through the night (thank God for “Babywise”). By
week 10, our second child was sleeping through the night. Our daughter was a
little more challenging, because we were not as strict as we had been with the
boys, but by 5 months, she was sleeping through the night. All of them slept in
their own rooms by month 6, in toddler beds within 30 days of turning one year
old, and the story goes on.
What to do I think of our parenting style? I don’t know.
Maybe we’re too regimented? Does it work for us though? Yes. Regardless of what
happens, even until today, our children are very familiar with our daily
schedule. In order for them to be effective in life, we believe that they need
to understand that there is a time and place for everything. You can’t play
with your Legos during lunchtime. Shower time is for showers, not reading or
art. Are we too rigid? I don’t
know…maybe?
Where I leave the straight path is when I’m running errands.
Here’s where I beg not to be crucified. One thing I dislike is having to wake
sleeping children in a car. So…once upon
a time, if my children were sleeping in the car and I had to pick up pictures
at Walgreens, I’d put the windows down enough for air circulation and lock them
inside. I figured, it kept the boogie man and pervs from getting away with my
children and from having whiny, upset children in tow.
I was that mom who would leave her children in the car in
the school parking lot to go pick up my eldest son, so that my other two
children could finish eating their snacks uninterrupted and without trying to
pick up every cigarette butt or water bottle cover along the way. I really
thought I was being a good mom and doing others a favor by not dragging my
children around kicking and screaming.
Why would I ever think doing that was okay? Err…well, from
my upbringing. There were five of us. There was NO way my parents were going to
gather all of us for a quick trip into Smitty’s for the advertised chicken
breasts from the Arizona Republic. They would put me in charge, if the other
wasn’t there, and I would watch my siblings in the car or van as early as seven
years old, if not younger. I was deemed responsible. Back then though, that was
okay, or so we all thought.
Now, we have people who prey on children and are just
waiting for you as a parent to slip up. There are the overzealous good
Samaritans and those with chips on their shoulders who could care less for your
reasoning and you as a parent. They would rather get the law involved and ruin
lives. However, in some cases, these unsolicited watchdogs do help save lives,
so don’t get me wrong; I’ve considered both sides.
I don’t think any parent ever intentionally leaves their
child(ren) in a car with the thought that they may leave them there long enough
for it to harm them. BUT, sadly, it has and does occur. For this reason, I
promise to do better. I promise to be more mindful of my children’s safety, the
times we’re living in, and the fact that I’m not perfect or beyond making mistakes
that could harm my children.
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